Ashley and her husband Matt have five children ranging in age from 8 to 16 — Morgan, Nathan, William, Owen and Benjamin.
Nathan is non-verbal and has autism. He was born at full term and developed normally, doing all the things other children do, learning to walk and saying a few words. However, just before he turned two, Nathan began to regress, no longer having an interest in anything around him and just sitting alone with a pile of books. “He sat there looking through them at a superhuman rate,” said Ashley. “He stopped making eye contact and would just scream.” The only thing that made him happy was sitting in a pile of books. The rest of the time, he screamed. “He wasn’t interested in anything else. It was like he had a complete 180 personality change.”
Ashley and Matt tried everything they could think of to help him. Ashley talked to a speech therapist, and they tried different types of therapies. “We got absolutely nowhere,” she said. “We pretty much knew it was autism but stayed in denial. We knew though. Our perfect little baby was suddenly not doing any of the things he was supposed to be doing at his age. I didn’t want it to be true, but we knew. It was just really difficult.”
They tried everything doctors recommended, but nothing worked. “This was 12 years ago,” said Matt. “They knew a lot less about autism back then, and everyone we talked to had some idea we should try, some magic pill.”
Ashley was a stay-at-home mom back then and dealt with all the issues you would imagine a mom to five children had to deal with. “I was terrified to leave him with anyone, because you hear all these horror stories about non-verbal children being abused,” said Ashley. She kept him home with her until he was about 9 years old. “I just kind of hit a brick wall and thought, ‘I just cannot do this anymore. I’m gonna lose my ever lovin mind if I don’t change something.”
So Nathan started school at age 9 and it was a wonderful experience. “I know it’s not like that for every parent, every child, but the Lord really blessed us with amazing teachers.”
At about the same time he started school, they also started trying to teach him to communicate, and he learned to tell them when he needed the bathroom or water or food, but when they tried to advance this, they were mostly unsuccessful. “He is extremely stubborn, and if there is something he does not want to do, he is just flat out not going to do it,” said Ashley. However, they are working with him at school with a communication device. He is improving, but they want him to master it at school before bringing it home.
Up to this point, Nathan has communicated by pointing at things and showing them what he wants. A few months ago, Nathan was looking through a sale ad and found a meal he wanted at Dairy Queen. He pointed it out to his mom, and she took him there to get it. Nathan was able to show the cashier exactly what he wanted for the first time in his life.
Because Ashley is a nurse, and until recently worked in the emergency room, it is important that she be well rested, but Nathan did not sleep through the night until he was 15. “Now mind you, he is 15 now,” said Ashley.
So, Matt was the one who stayed up with Nathan to make sure he did not hurt himself, run off or flood the house, things like that. “Because of my job, I could not go in to work without sleeping. It’s just not safe, so Matt bore the brunt of that,” said Ashley. Nathan enjoys taking things from around the house or yard and piling them in a corner of his bedroom. “I can’t keep décor on the walls,” said Ashley. “Nathan wants it in his room, not on his walls but just in his closet. He just has a specific idea of where things go, but he doesn’t tell us.”
Books, magazines and newspapers are still an important part of Nathan’s life. He loves fanning through them. Right now, his favorites are food ads and home improvement ads. “Like any other 15-year-old, he loves to eat, so he loves to point out things he wants me to fix for him,” said Ashley. “I can’t take him to Home Depot, because he wants to take home all the paint samples, and it’s impossible to drag this 6-foot boy out of the store.”
Nathan attends school at Okeechobee High School now. He is actually in ninth grade but is too low functioning for that class, so went straight to the high school campus. “He rides a special needs bus and has his routine that he loves. He absolutely loves his amazing bus driver and is jumping with happiness when he gets on the bus. That was always our biggest fear that people would treat him badly when we aren’t with him, but he loves it so much that we know he is being well taken care of,” said Ashley.
The rest of the DeHart children seem to have been blessed with kind hearts and giving natures and are all very patient with Nathan. “They are some of the sweetest kids you will ever meet,” said Ashley.
According to the Mayo Clinic, “If you're concerned about your child's development or you suspect that your child may have autism spectrum disorder, discuss your concerns with your doctor. The symptoms associated with the disorder can also be linked with other developmental disorders.
“Signs of autism spectrum disorder often appear early in development when there are obvious delays in language skills and social interactions. Your doctor may recommend developmental tests to identify if your child has delays in cognitive, language and social skills, if your child:
Approximately 1 in 36 children in the United States is diagnosed with Autism according to the CDC.
